The telephone rang, as often happens when I leave it plugged in. I answered and was greeted by the voice of an erratic asian maiden from a certain telephone company who, after confirming my name, immediately started babbling nonsensically about mobile phones. Blackberry this, tariff that, free minutes something else. Every time I interrupted she paused for a moment, then continued chattering on about mobile phones, disregarding any question I asked. During her unrelenting monologue I heard my surname spoken at least fifteen times, it seemed an awful waste. I know who I am, and clearly she knew who I was, so why use it to bulk up every sentence?

I got bored of listening after roughly seven seconds, terminally bored after twenty. It seemed too unkind to simply hang up. I placed the phone, whilst she was in mid-chatter, down on the bed and walked over to the other side of the room. I could hear her vaguely from where I was standing. Nobody's listening, but the chattering continued. I felt hungry so went downstairs to get something to eat - leaving the phone untouched, still emitting a voice on the bed.

Fifteen minutes went by, during which time I cooked and ate some pasta, before returning to my room. The phone call was still active, but the voice had stopped - Ah, the pleasant sound of silence! Well silence is far preferable when some chattering call-centre entrapped sales person is trying to sell me a free mobile phone!

Without hanging up I disconnected the phone, in order to prevent any further disturbances. I started reading some text about embracing your inner child, which combined with the previous event made me feel a little mixed up - like a cannery in a blender I thought.